I'm not sure what our time difference is, but I just read your post from Easter. It's Tues. afternoon here in the states (central time zone) and I was thinking about how you said you sign your D papers on Tues. Already signed then, correct. I'm sorry that your M ended, but I'm happy for you for other things.
-You have a wonderful relationship with your daughter. -You are buying what sounds like an incredible place on the ocean -You had a great Easter with our family
and last but not certainly not least on my list....
-You are an incredible person, father, friend to many...and you have nothing but good things ahead for you.
My best to you!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Moving to my new abode in a couple of weeks. Everything else is the same as it has been for the last 18 months. XW is consolidating her life, as I am my own. Been spending a lot of time interstate for work, then spending all of my free time with DD, so not much time for anything else.
XW has increased her phone calls to me, for meaningless chit chat. And also won't stop staring at me whenever we are in the same room. I don't mean to be a kill joy to other people on this board, but I did reach closure some time ago, and my morals and values are far to strong to change these feelings.
DBing over the last several months has been for my benefit only, and has conditioned me to not make the same mistakes in my future relationships. I have a wonderful new home, amazing DD, fantastic network of family and friends and have been advancing myself at work (all of these incredible changes would not have happened if I was still with XW). I really do think maybe it was for the best (in my sitch only, not to dampen anyone else's efforts in their respective stiches).
We know you did your best with your M, and while it is unfortunate one realizes it takes two to make it work. As in the serenity prayer, it sounds as if you have found peace again by letting go of the things you cannot control and focusing on what you are able to control. DB is certainly part of that.
Yep, certainly did all that I could to save my marriage. I will never have any regrets or lose sleep over "what if's", as I had pretty much explored every avenue and read every book.
I have not posted in a while, but have had a very busy month. Moved into my new place, got a promotion at work and have met a wonderful "friend" (who I have been joined at the hip with for over a month). She has been through similar to me, so we have had a great deal in common to talk about (not that we dwell on our past, but understand where we have both come from).
It's funny how things happen when u least expect it. I had all these "big" plans of moving to a place on the beach, and living the single life, with no restrictions, then my plan goes "pear" shaped (for all good reasons mind u). But hey, nothing good is ever planned anyway
As I mentioned before, I don't think I was ever "strong" enough to forgive and forget regardless of my efforts. I really do think that if things did change, and my XW did come back in the first few months, It would have always "festered" in our relationship beyond repair.
Some people can get through it, but my morals and values would not allow me to. I sort of "nipped" it in the bud when she was confused and trying to instigate a possible return several months ago (after hearing it from my SIL). I sort of "cut" her off completely from any false hope, and have been very "elusive" in regards to contact (always keeping it brief and business like, when it came to DD and money matters).
So at the moment, life is great. DD is healthy and happy and enjoying her stays with me at the beach. DD also adores my friend and her two boys (who are similar ages to DD). The bonus is, she is the complete opposite to my XW in every way. So I have not made the same mistake that some people may make by finding a similar partner to the ones they have left (due to the familiarity and comfort of continuing in a similar relationship).
Yes, the numerous books I have read did come in handy
