Thanks for that. I look forward to hearing your side and spin since I seem to playing the role fo your wife...lol. Maybe that will give me some insight as to WTF I am doing wrong and WTF I should be doing right. Even though FG does tell me I just don't get it. It's all those DAM analogies. He can't just say it in kindergarten speak for me. I am very intelligent but this whole ordeal has my brian in shut down mode so bear with me.
I have a high 3 digit IQ and turned down the Naval Academy in Annapolis as a teen so go figure...I can do all that but can't save my marriage. Some rocket scientist I turned out to be...lol.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
Well today I get to spend my first Easter in 19 years alone. It will be my first Easter without being a part of the big family dinner at my in-laws with the nieces and nephews and sister's and brother's in law. It will be my first Easter of not being out in the in laws yard with my sister's in law hiding plastic filled eggs while the dad's occupy the kids elsewhere and then letting them all lose once we have hidden all the eggs. I won't be there taking pictures and helping the younger nieces and nephews find some eggs before the older kids get them all.
But I have to put on a happy face when H gets here to pick up the kids this morning. I will be dressed and made up looking as if I have plans although I don't. I have been invited somewhere with some friends but there will be kids there and people I don't know and today I really don't think I feel like being around other people's kids and not my own and I really don't feel like beig with any strangers today although I may make some new friends by doing so.
Days like today and other times when historically H and I and the kdis have been with his large family will be the toughest ones to handle as this progress'. Xmas day was the pits and so too will today. The monthly family dinner's at his folks house that I no longer am a part of also suck. Granted his family and I may not have always seen eye to eye but damn we did enjoy spending time together during these occassions.
Maybe if the movie theaters are open I will go see a movie all by my lonesome...heehee, yeah that was a major fake laugh by the way.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
I need to take that same attitude. I quickly read some of your thread. Sounds like I should take some lessons from you.
What I do realize I MUST do is get this damn life without him. Why is GAL so tough for some of us I wonder? I feel however that there will be some good coming in the near future. Hopefully the house will sell quickly when we list it next month...in today's market though who knows. Selling this alone will be a HUGE relief financially for H and I hope that will help him find some happiness again in his life. He professes to be so blindly happy now that he is gone but I know it is all an act. Even if he is sleeping with someone else life isn't great being away from home and the kids and even me although he professes he doesn't feel IT for me anymore.
I will sit back and let him see some good changes in me and the positive steps I am taking to help our situation progress smoothly regardless of how it ends. He will FALL in love with me all over again I know...heehee.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
Monkeybug, I have the same GAL difficulties. Part of the problem as I see it is we need to force ourselves (give ourselves a kick in the ass) to do things with other people even if we do not feel like it. A perfect example is you were invited to spend time with friends with the possibility of meeting other people....instead you will spend time alone at a movie theater. I have the same feelings and need to get out there. it is very easy to shut down and sulk in these situations (I am living proof of that), It does us no good. So if you still can, get out there, see some friends. If you are not having a good time, you can always see a movie later.
Who said GAL was ever easy for me? With two small kids and him being away? If you go and read the beginning of my previous thread you'll see I have had my good share of mess ups during this process. I still do. It's hard and it's difficult but what is our other choice? What's the alternative? Even if I lose him, I need to feel I have done everything possible not to. You had your low points these last few days. Regroup, focus and keep your eyes on your goal.
K
With a three digid IQ I don't see how he cane get away from you...
I had to laugh about the 3 digit IQ thing. I would agree but see part of his problem is that he is the complete opposite and although he always bragged to everyone about how smart I was and how proud he was to have me as a wife and gloated over me when his guy friends would comment about how lucky he was to have such an amazig wife and even professed jealousy over him...I think deep down inside he is ashamed about his lack of intelligence...hands on genius but book smart none. I don't believe I ever made a deal about it but maybe just being me was part of the issue too. Anyway there I go trying to analyze things and have to stop.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
You are right. I should go to this early dinner I was invited to and then bail early if I am not enjoying myself and go see a movie...lol.
It's tough to GAL when the life you had with the WAS is literally all you have ever known. Maybe H and I did make a mistake marrying so early and di infact miss out on things in life. However we are going on 36 and life now isn't as it would have been in our early 20's anyway no matter how hard we could possibly try. That is part of what I think he feels he missed out on and over did it when he first left and things are starting to fizzle a bit now for him. I however need to do some of that I think in order to GAL and improve myself some more.
I have obviously established that I am ripe for the taking for other men and need to stear very clear of that. See FG I listened...NO DATING!!!!! I got myself into that mess and will stay away now. I will just relish the looks and glances I get from the men instead. Let that in itself boost my ego from within. Tell myself that I am not just a mom but a beautiful woman as well with a sensual side that H will come back to and be blown away with all over again.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
OK...question and would like advice if anyone reads this soon.
Son told me that H is planning on staying here a bit this morning when he comes over to get the kids for Easter. At this point should I also hang out and be pleasant since the last fw days we seem to be communicating well or should I 'act as if' I have plans and need to go and kindly ask him to lock up the house and have a good day with the kids?
I also tried to add pics from our Mass. trip to my sig. line but there wasn't enough room for the 3 I picked so it only took the first one. Any suggestions would be appreciated for that also. Kerry you seem to be a good one for helping us less than computer friendly ones out in that arena...lol.
And I believe I will be locking soon so when I do look for the next chapter in the saga.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
MMB, At this point maybe you should just do what you feel is right for you. If you feel like being there then stay, if not go. I have read your posts and am thinking you should maybe be a little self protective because he has raised a custody issue. He may be friendly and communicative , which is great, but just be careful about giving too much info.If you end up in a custody battle it can get ugly very fast. Make sure his words match his actions.
