Quote: It helps to develop a predetermined plan of what you will accept and what you will not and work towards building the strength to know that you will live up to that code and that when you do, no matter what happens you will be OK.
Thanks, this will help me to have a concrete action to focus on.
Quote: Once they believe that changes are for real, then it is not such a large step for them to decide they can love us again and commit to it again.
Lately it seems no matter what changes I make H interprets my action the opposite from my intentions. I give him space- I am avoiding him. I stop R talk- I am mad. I try to show empathy to his feelings- I am being judgemental ( I believe me I only use "I" statements). Well, could be H does not believe my changes are for real.
I get so tired, that maybe I should stop caring about his feelings and just focus on me. But would that make us drift farther from each other?
Goals: 1) continue to notice the positive actions from H and praise him. 2) praise myself on the positive that I do, even if H does not notice. 3) go to the gym 5 times this week.
Does anyone ever feel like their head is above water, but so tired from treading water?
