(((((Lisa))))) I don't really know what to say, and I haven't been through this, but....
The man physically beat you up. After threatening on multiple occasions before. I would say to keep the process moving. What do you gain by stalling? You don't love him. He is going to have to do a lot to even be worthy of talking to you, let alone being married to you. Keep extending you circle of friends, and your life. Then you will feel less alone. I know that it must be really hard to be a single mom with 5 kids, but that has to be better than being physically afraid of your h!
You are scared because it is the unknown! Anyone would be scared. It's ok!
