I dont know I'm so frustrated I feel like I cant see things any differently right now. The things that have worked have been real recent...just making sure I am happy, keeping busy and not telling him who I am with, and changing my apperance some. It's just very difficult to keep that up and then hear he left my house and went to OW. I know I should be doing those things for myself and not to get him back but I have a hard time drawing the line. Your right I totally keep going down the cheeseless tunnels I just dont know what else to do.
He has been so extremly selfish these past few months. He only thinks of himself and what he wants with no regard to his son or myself. That's not the person I met and fell in love with. He continues to tell me he wants back home but dosent know where to start, how to fix this or how to leave OW. Maybe it's what I want to believe but I do think he wants his "old life back". I'm just not sure how to make that happen or what to do. He says he is trying or he is working on things but he's really not doing a damn thing to change. Part of me thinks I need to do something to "push him off the fence" to show him it's not okay to have a wife and a girlfriend. Then I think it dosent matter what I do he only does what he wants to anyway.
Tomorrow i'm going to dinner at his parents house. H will be there so I'm really not looking forward to that. His family has been SO supportive of me though I feel like I owe them. I do enjoy hanging out with H and want to spend time with him BUT then I convince myself things are getting better only to be disappointed yet again......
