While I can see that forgiveness is something you do for yourself, I sometimes feel myself slipping emotionally and wonder I am as near forgiveness as I thought.
Jethro thanks so much for view on trust. It has clarified this issue for me. I think this past week I have been able to trust to your level 1. (Which scares me at times since H still works with OW.) You are so right that constant questioning causes continued problems.
I get angry sometimes that I have to be the one to give this trust, since I was the one betrayed and hurt. Why do I need to give anything? Even though H has written notes I have asked for, calls me from work, comes home early at times and is trying to make me feel better, he has yet to show me he is truely working on the R and not just appeasing my feelings. I get so tired sometimes having to work so hard at controling my emotions. Maybe I am not trusting H or close to giving forgiveness, maybe I just hope I am trusting. Does trusting meaning never worrying or be scared even if these feeling are not voice to S?
