Quote: Can you forgive someone, yet not fully trust them?
I have found it's the other way around...
This is a tough one that I still struggle with. I think there are two levels of trust that need to be evaluated: 1) A blanket trust that must be given to your S regardless of what's transpired. Constant questioning will only cause further friction. One needs to let go. 2) A deep trust where you are confident of your spouse's faith.
I found that I had to implement #1 for a while to show "good faith" in my W...and to just get by. Over time this became easier because she was, in her way, showing me that I could trust her.
Giving your H this trust will help release some of the pressure he's feeling (as well as you). Thus, as things slowly improve between the two of you, he will then gradually come around in a way that he used to be(have). Then, you'll know/feel that things are better and that you can "trust" him. The result? #2. Only after one begins to enter the #2 realm does forgiveness begin, I think (at least for me), because it's at this point that our Ses show US that they are interested and willing to work on the R.
This stuff just takes time and patience. One thing ever so gradually leads into another. I struggle every day, but also feel a little better with each passing day. I still have not officially forgiven my W, but I imagine I will soon. Good luck, bumbling.
