If you have been that controlling in the past, you may just have to let her control things for now. She will only believe that the changes you are making are not manipulative if you keep them up. That is just going to take time. Of course she is feeling like it will go back to the way it was. I think that is natural for anyone. You just have to continue to show her that the changes you are making are for YOU, not just for her. If you are truly changing for YOU, then you are more apt to continue those changes.
