Night time is really hard for me. This is the time that H and I spent together. The kids were in bed, and we would just talk. I miss that. The silence in the house is deafening. I'm glad I can at least come here to get this out. I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. I am taking an antidepressant, and one of the side effects is insomnia. My doc gave me a sleeping pill too, but that just doesn't seem wise with 2 preschoolers in the house. So here I sit at the computer. I am trying to keep up my PMA. H is out of town right now, so I can't even really begin DBing. He isn't here to notice. He should be back sometime tomorrow. Who knows, maybe some time away at the lake has given him some perspective. I hate to think like that because I just know he will come back and it will be more of the same. I just have to remember that I am the one changing right now. I can't focus on him. I have to focus on me.
