Just so I remember, without looking back, there was some violence, or at least the threat of it, wasn't there?
Yes that's why he is on probation right now. We got into a fight because OW called my house and I wouldn't let her speak to him, as I recall now I think that money was invovled in the fight as well... and well in the end I ended up with a black eye.
This has played a HUGE HUGE HUGE part in my moving up and over process. I had to realize that YES when other people said, "Oh you deserve better" they WERE RIGHT! No one deserves the pain caused by that one act. My children do not deserve being put in a position where one parent is put in danger by another.
WE deserve better!
Now there would be steps that could be taken, none of which he has taken (should've been a red flag there this last time, but I thought maybe we could work towards them, anyway..) He could take anger management, he could get with a counselor, etc etc etc.
All of that aside.
I have realized that I have a life, and I am going to live it with or without my poor lost husband, he has made this mess he will be the one to clean it up and fix his life.
I wonder if a divorce worries him because of additional obligations it will put on him? I think you are right, you let the cart get ahead of the horse this last time. I expect that won't happen again.
Also, I think there may be a clue, in that he has more kids with the OW than with his wife. There must be some meaning to that!
Do I remember you being concerned with the health of one of your girls? I am guessing it must have worked out ok! And I am so glad to hear that you are working, and the bills are paid. So many things that were a problem before are going well now! I am proud of you!
Actually with her getting pregnant again it will make OW/wife neck and neck with the children.. ahah We will each have two of his children.
No I don't expect it will ;), especially not if I have you guys to give me that little extra guidance I was lacking.
Yes, it was Kiya (the "baby") she had kidney problems, but in October we had our last visit with the specialist, THANK GOD! She got a clean bill of health, both kidneys are up and functioning! She is under the weather right now though, throwing up, coughing, and feverish... finally down for a least a few hours of rest.
The biggest part of this that I have a problem with is this:
I do NOT want to have to pay for the D, I just don't feel I should have to pay the price for my H's foolishness. He's too lazy and quite frankly likes playing the situation the way it is.
I know I have to do what needs done, I just am too cheap. I am unsure how to proceed there, I know you "can't" give me advice on how to divorce him... but any pointers you can slip by would be nice!
I wish I knew something that could help you! I think with the physical abuse, we are "allowed" to support the decision you've made! I sure hope so, or I won't be long for this board! Anyone who knows me knows that I have spent plenty of time trying to slow people down, and encouraging patience, so I think I'm ok!
I know Amy isn't in your state, but she always seems to have ideas about where to look for help. I would imagine that there must be an organization that would support women in your situation. Might be a time to start with the church, or a shelter. Or perhaps even ask a lawyer, they ought to know!
Hey Emily! I just went back in time. I though it was true, but now I know for sure... the first posts I ever made were on your thread. I was a long term lurker, I had followed your story from the beginning, but you finally got me so worked up that I had to register and post to you! And I let you have it pretty good! Anyway, I don't know exactly what that means, except that yet again, you are SPECIAL!
(((((Emily))))) who I sort of think of as an adopted daughter, if that's ok with you!
Girl, I just about started crying when I saw that you had posted to me in the prayer forum. I sat here looking at the screen just saying "EMILY???", like a dork. I knew exactly who you were and I am so glad that you have done okay for yourself and the girls since you were last here. Emily, you have to keep doing that now. Kevin is obviously the same turd he continuously proved himself to be when you were pregnant and after the baby was born. The man does not deserve you or your time, tears or devotion. And YOU deserve SO MUCH BETTER than him!
Emily you know I am one that believes with the right tools (mostly faith) you can DB most any situation. The thing is, you have to be dealing with a person that at least on some level wants to change. Kevin hates Kevin and loves mediocrity and Emily can't save him no matter how much she changes, grows up and makes up for her own past mistakes. You can't save him and you DON'T need his kind of baggage in your life.
IF you want to give this one more shot, I will be here with you for as long as you want to keep at it but I'm telling you, you will be fighting demons that are not yours and it will be balls to the wall from the second you decide you're going to fight. I have been in a remarkably similar fight and it has almost been the death of me. Literally AND spiritually. I will not encourage it. But if you want to stand, I will stand with you.
I enjoyed watching Felina find the Easter eggs this morning. When I brought the baskets out (I sent Felina upstairs to get a blanket, opened the door and yelled to her to come quick, then shut the door and told her the Easter bunny just dropped off the baskets.) anyway, when I brought the baskets out for the first time in days Kiya's eyes lit up and she got off the couch. GO sickie!
I miss Kevin this morning, he was suppose to be here to spend the holiday with the girls. Instead he is spending it with OW and his son. I'm having a hard time with that this morning. I know that he is missing out on Felina and Kiya, but he has "replaced" (can't think of a better word) them with children with her. How can he possibly happy, I just couldn't imagine.
Amy to answer you, I simply don't know what I want. I want to survive this fallout, I want to survive this divorce.
I was so ready to go through with it last time and I faltered, this time I want the added support and advice.
Happy Easter! Emily, I am glad your little one lit up a bit! Emily, put Kevin out of your mind. He has made it clear that he has no respect for you, or himself. You deserve to be respected!
