Hi Sandi, I am 37 and W is 35. I have not seen any difference in her clothes, makeup or hair. As far as another man goes, I just don't see it although you would think that the way she has gone forward with this whole ordeal anything could be possible but I just don't think that is the case. If there is another man, I'm not sure when she would be seeing him, her only free time is every other weekend and that time she is at the house and her mother comes over most of the time.
My W said she lost herself in our relationship, she doesn't know who she is anymore. I will admit that all I ever focused on was the negative, not the positive and that is a big part of where we are at with the seperation today. She stated that if what we had in our marriage is what marriage is about then she wanted no part of it. She felt that when she came home and if I was in a bad mood then she and the kids would have to be walking on egg shells and she was tired of living that way. We never spent much time together just she and I. Once our kids came along, I spent so much time focusing on them that I forgot to focus on our marriage. We did go alot with the kids, but never just she and I. She has said that she thought she would miss me but she doesn't. Just two weeks ago when I told her I got a place to stay she stated "I won't happy married and I'm not happy now." I know from reading on this site that I have made many mistakes in my pursuit to save our marriage, I would send emails asking her back, call her trying to beg and plead and do the same when we are together. I am learning that was not helping my situation any, it may have been hurting me more than helping.
About 6 weeks ago I found lawyer papers in her car for seperation, she has yet to send them in or at least I have not received anything on my end. I was staying with my parents for over 3 months and felt like I had no life at all so I got my own place. My wife didn't understand why I needed my own place, she felt I should be able to have a life staying with parents. The weekend I moved in, my W came over and helped my put furniture together and we went to dinner with the kids. I told her I was lonely and she said she was also. We had a great time, even went to dinner 2 out of the next 3 nights due to kids baseball practices.
In one of my last pleas to save our marriage, she stated that she knew if she took me back and let me move in then things would go right back to where they once were in a years time. She thinks that this is a game for me and if she allows me to come home then I win the game, I would stop going to counseling and I am only doing all of the things to get better just to come home. She is on a power trip of being in control, I was a controlling husband, I will admit, she is now in control. W states that I am a manipulator and will do whatever I have to in order to get my way. I really want to save our marriage and our family, I know that I made alot of mistakes in our marriage and I would do whatever it takes to save it but she doesn't want to see it and I am lost on what I do next.
