I empathize with what you are going through. It's like we are watching someone drown, yet we cannot do a thing to save them and they blame us. Yes, we probably do deserve some blame for not being the person we could have been had we known better. Take this opportunity to learn about yourself, love, and life in general. She sounds like my W--a deep lack of self esteem and love for herself. Terrence Real, whose books have really helped me, makes the powerful point that a lack of self esteem inhibits the abilty to give AND receive love. I read that and immediately recognized this as a big problem for my W. Self esteem cannot come from us; they have to find it themselves, if they ever do. Our decision is to determine how long we are willing to wait, and how much we are willing to put up with. Neither of those, I am finding, are easy choices. I've had family and friends tell me to leave my W immediately, as if it were that easy. It's not.I am guessing that she has had family and friends tell her the same thing.
