Once again she doesn't have money for groceries so she asks me if we have money in the 'house account' which of course is where I put money and pay the other bills. I don't have very much in my account right now either and I ask her if she is getting paid this week.
She says not much, she didn't work as much, etc, etc, etc..
I tell her we have an electric bill that has to be paid this week or else. She starts to panic, cries a little, then says "I guess we can't get any groceries then" and goes on...
I finally interrupt her and say 'If I could finish my comments, we can pay the bill after YOU get paid and use the money in the account NOW for groceries'. So she calms down and realizes it's not the end of the world today. She's off buying groceries.
Sometimes I just want to jump all over her, and say "Gee, what did you think was going to happen when you decided you were 'done'? Frank would just magically become UN-depressed and save the day? Money would manifest itself? Frank would become the most productive person in the world????"
Uh, no. Instead, I STRUGGLE every day just to not curl up into a ball and die. At least I'm getting HELP. I hope it's not too late.
I just want to tell her this. Tell her that she waited till I was at my rock bottom and then took me off at the kneecaps. And by doing so she put us at greater risk of financial ruin.
Stupid. Immature. Selfish.
I will be so glad when the anxiety goes away. I hope the Lexapro works sooner.
