jersting in surviving

[Lissie]

Hi and Welcome.

I think I will have a Bloody Mary today, thank you.

First of I kinda don't like the fact that you have stuppid written in your signature.

What is so stupid? The fact that you wanted your marriage to work out? The fact that you wanted to be the wonderful husband, you know in your heart you can be?

Is it stupid that you wanted to work your ass off to reunite your family, and have your children live in a 2 parent home?

None of the above sound stupid to me.

If anything it sounds honorable. It warms my heart that men like you exist.

There also comes a time, when reality sets in, and we know that a decision was made for us. A decision that was not our intent, but we have to follow thru with it. And we will with dignity.

As for the wanting to be great friends. My x does the same thing, he treated me like dirt for 2 years, and now wants to be my besst friend.

I have come to the conlusion, that he feels the Pressure is off. He is divorced now. I gave him what he wanted and he is happy about it.
I also believe that the guilt of what they do, may cause them to act this way too.

Like if he wasn't my new best friend, he would feel horrible about the D.

Who knows, just my 2 cents. It may be the case with your STBX.

I never want you to feel like a failure. I never want you to feel like you gave up either.

The WAS, has to be very strong to "piece" with the LBS.

Not all of them can hack it. It is not an inclination that you did something wrong or could of done something more.

It is what it is.

If you can handle being her "friend" great. If not, set your boundaries.
It is perfectly ok to do so You kind of have the upper hand here.

If you are uncomfortable with her flirting with you,again set a boundary.

You have every right to do so.

I would say for your benefit. If you CAN be her friend, and still maintain your expectations at zero. Then you are good to go.

If you are getting your hopes up, by her actions, maybe remove yourself from the friendship aspect of it, and keep it as business partners until you get on your feet.

Jersting, you are alot stronger than you think, and you will be just fine.

Vent away here, and you will be helped by amazing people on this forum. And you never know , who you may help in the process too.

Have a great weekend.

Lissett