I think our kids deserve to have a whole family. A whole family to me is not just having mom and dad still married and living under the same roof. It’s having a mom and dad who still make the time to spend with each other, who still laugh together, who are friends and can deal with issues as a team. I feel like we are just going through the motions at best. You are dad who does what he does and I am mom who does what she does but where is the example of a loving couple that our children would hope to one day aspire to. If we cannot find a way to be that for our children’s benefit then I don’t see how the “we got married and had kids and that’s just the way it is” is a positive way to look at things. Time is passing quickly and the kids are no longer babies. They are starting to create their own pictures of what their adult lives will, should be. If we are giving them an example we don’t want for them we are not being good parents.
As I said above, I don’t want our marriage to be over but I do want the way our marriage has been to be over. Something has to change what that is I don’t know. I could be completely wrong but despite your silence on the subject I don’t believe you are truly happy or even content with our current relationship either.
For the record these are my thoughts and feelings and mine alone. I don’t know what the next step is. I’d like for us to be able to honestly discuss things without resorting to threats of selling the house or waking up one day and deciding it’s not worth it. You asked who wrote the book on how it’s (marriage) supposed to be…well, I think that’s up to the individuals in a marriage. Being that a marriage is made up of two distinct individuals it can be difficult to come to an understanding of what that means for them. It’s time we figured out what we each think a marriage “should” be and how those views differ and what if anything we can do to find a compromise or solution for those differences if we find they are there.
