Give yourself some time to change your mind about what you are going to do. I'm not going to say that seeing a lawyer is the wrong thing to do. It may make you feel better. Just because you see a lawyer doesn't mean that you have to file AND the lawyer may know how to handle your fight the other day. You did what most of us here on this bb would like to do. Some of us know to stay away and others of us just don't have the nerve to do it.
I love your post that says all the things that you are. I am going to copy it and post every one of those things (the ones that I am) on my mirror at home and on my monitor at work. Post them somewhere that you can see them every day.
TOH, maybe instead of telling yourself to move on would it work to tell yourself to move forward. I know that when someone tells me to move on I want to take the 2x4 and hit THEM upside the head. The fact that I get up every day and go to work, take care of the animals, see some friends, etc. proves that I am moving on. I am not back in 2006 I am in 2008 and there have been major changes in my life. But when friends tell me they can see that I've move forward I feel so much better. It's just a word but it's a big difference in my mind.
As for the OW, until I asked her for forgiveness (I did it just a week ago) I couldn't let go of her. Once I did that I have thought of her less and less. Maybe now that you have let your anger out you will be able to move forward. You never know but it may have been what your H needed to see to wake him up.
Take some time to heal from this episode in your life. Go see a lawyer so that you have someone to talk to but let them know that you aren't really sure what you want.
There are many days we are all ready to give up. Then a few days later we have gathered our strength and are ready for the next episode. You have a lot on your plate. Put your M and your H on the back burner right now and focus on the other stuff. And pray.
