"Saru mo ki kara ochiru."

[faithisbelieving]

On the day of the receipt of the letter, my W went from soft questions and sobbing to utter anger and unmitigated rage. Red in the face...constricted pupils....screaming at me at the top of her lungs. At one point, I quietly told her that if she didn't lower her voice so that the kids couldn't hear, I would leave to go for a walk. She continued to yell. I grabbed my coat and went for a walk.
Some of the comments of the day or so after this:
-why am I doing this to punish her
-she said she was sorry
-I'll never take her kids away from her
-she'll fight me to her grave
-she'll contest this and drag it on for years
-that I'd better have a big bankroll
-that I was the liar..not her...since I said I would never take the kids from her

She went on to comment about a text I had sent her..that she never really got to know me. She said, "well I guess you were right....the man I married would never have done this to me". I guess her indiscretions and treatment of me for the last 2 years are forgotten easily. Funny...the only thing she has focused on in the entire complaint, of course, was the full custody comment.

Since that time, she has started a parenting 'pissing contest'. She has taken away my private times with the kids (bathtime, eg). I can't keep up with all the new toys coming in...the daily excursions....she's even brushing their teeth twice daily. Only you can all know whether this is her 'hurt little girl' now trying to be a mommy, or, whether her L has her doing this and they are plotting things.

Her anger has diminished. She doesnt' talk to me. She HAS made me dinner on two evenings and even asked me last night if I would like some pasta.

I never got a chance to have a 'final R talk' or discuss the complaint...she never lowered her tone and anger enough for me to even do that. I am keeping to myself, minimizing communication to avoid possibly being taped or dragged into something that she would use against me. I am being otherwise cordial.

I do not enjoin her in the contest.
I always say things like 'kiss mommy goodnight'.
I let her be "MEGA MOM" now.
I take care of myself for the most part.

As you know, my W is a hair stylist. Today, for the first time in 14 years, I scheduled an appt to get my haircut with someone else. Thanks for your continued support as I wind this down.

FIB