Tia, Thanks for the suggestions. I have looked at the KLA forum before and I feel like I didnt get a whole lot of info from them that was new to me. Should I buy the tapes? Or are they more for people that are piecing?
Perhaps you were not open to KLA forum since your heart was not in it? This is just an assumption, due to what you were facing. Perhaps the KLA forum did not supply the minute details on the recording. Plus, you did not have a KLA workbook, or reminder card on hand.
Yes, I recommend the KLA series. I own a copy myself. It is geared for those who are single, engaged, married, or tithering on divorce. You can use this program with or without your significant other. Another bonus is hearing Michele's voice!
One thing I noticed is that you mentioned that H always brings up that you did not support him and his business. However, upon his second leave, he said, "You put 100% in marriage." In one part of KLA, Michele addresses this. Also, the series will help provide solutions, set goals, and keep love alive!
Michele outlines what you'll learn in the KLA series. You'll learn:
<<why men who dislike "touchy-feely" relationship programs love this program
<<why knowing what caused a problem is a waste of time
<<how love illusions prevent you from getting more love in your life
<<that you can affect change singlehandedly
<<how to set specific solution-oriented goals
<<how to identify what you do right
<<how to stop doing what isn't working
<<how to keep the positive changes going
<<the Five Golden Rules of Keeping Love Alive
For couples whose relationships are experiencing more severe problems, you'll learn:
>>why divorce doesn't work
>>how to divorce-proof your marriage
>>last resort techniques for preventing divorce
I followed your posts. You have a lot going for you. You are successful, intelligent, and beautiful. You are a catch! Your tenacity and faithfulness is admirable. You do not deserve this insane, cyclical marriage. This time, let him pursue you! Don't make it so easy for him to return. You went through many rounds, and remained strong, and active. Its vital that you keep the 180s/GALs. Just don't give in when he wants to return. Play "hard to get". If your H shows interest, relish it, and remain cool. In the beginning, you don't need to show how ecstastic you are. If he comes back, keep doing "more of the same" behavior. Yes, EVEN IF he shows interest or comes home, keep up the DB'n! This must occur until a full commitment occurs. Then, you can tweak what changes to keep, and what to do differently. He needs to understand how life would be without you. He bunny-hopped more than once out of the house. Lead him towards full commitment. This time, do something different!
Your friends, and strangers notice how special you are. I do too.
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I find that he comes back when he thinks I have really moved on too far with out him. I will continue to distance myself from him and give him space & time.
You solved the equation. Now, detach and be consistent. Do not pursue or nag him. Stay away from ILUs too. Or mention it - only if mandatory. Also, its a plus that his friends cannot stand him. They were a bad influence?
You are the ONLY special, Tipper fish in the sea. Allow him to reel you in!
