Sorry but I couldn't write earlier because H was here most of the day today. Last night I went to my course, a wine appreciation course. It was the last class and everyone had a little too much to drink. I arrived home and was really upbeat. After S went to bed, H and I sat on the couch and talked about a lot of things non R. I started to get really tired (blame it on the wine). I got up and gave H a hug. He hugged me at first but then let go. I told him I was going to bed. After a while he comes into the bedroom and lies down next to me. He tells me he's sorry about what he's done, that he didn't mean to hurt me. I start talking to him about OW, about how he thinks he loves her but those feelings will fade (I know not the right thing to do so I quickly stopped). H said that right now he really doesn't know what he feels (referring to OW). I just lay in bed and he started stroking my hair and back but nothing happened. He stayed until about 2 a.m. when I heard him leave. Today he comes over in the late morning to take S to his sports tournament here in town. He also went to Good Friday church service with us and then we made dinner together. He had asked me about this the night before. He left in the evening but said he might come back to sleep over so that he can take S to his game in the morning. I don't know where he plans on sleeping but possibly on the couch. We had a very nice day together. This is the first time in 2 months since S that we've gone anywhere together. I sense that things are not going as well with OW. H has spent a lot of time here in the last week.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
Well, H spent the night in our bed last night. Nothing happened between us, not even any touching. I was already in bed by the time he came in. He took S to his game this morning and then will be taking him to a second game in the afternoon.
I guess we are both acting as if. It's "almost" like old times.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
The touble in paradise is just a feeling I'm getting from the way H has been behaving. I think he's starting to have doubts about OW.
I don't know what to make of the events of the last couple of days. This afternoon after S's second game, H quickly left saying he had work to do. Otherwise we had a nice day today. H and I even worked out together, well not really together but we were working out at the same time. I guess I have to expect some distancing and have no expectations.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Addie the OW is probably showing her jealous side the more she persues the more your H runs back to you. Keep up the GAL and plans to move back to your hometown. But don't be surprised if he asks you not to.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
