I don't think there is a "BLANKET" reply to everyone or the same advice for each situation. There is no way that despite many similarities - any situation is the same or warrants the same approach.
My ex had a history of breakdowns, violence, emotional and verbal abuse, even some bizarre behaviour resulting in arrest. Would you give me the same "Stay With Him" advice as you would give to anyone else? I think not - if so - that is unhealthy and perhaps unsafe.
When my M broke up I feared violent retalitation for months. And there was "stuff". This is all despite the fact that HE was cheating and moved right on in with his OW. He continues to blame me for abandoning him despite the fact he was the one who left. Makes no sense at all. But I do feel that the longer I held on the the fantasy of him returning (as I was encouraged to do so), the longer it took me to begin to pick up my pieces and move on.
So, although there is much to be said for trying to work things out or wait it out. There is not a "One Size Fits All" answer.
