You will end up having a fun day, make sure you get yourself a fancy dress costume, something that really makes you stand out, I know it's your daughters party but being her mum you can play your part. Has H sent an RSVP yet? Has he accepted OW is not invited. Make sure she doesn't gate crash in desguise.
When D proceedings first start it is like having had the bomb drop again, and each time there is a dispute it is upsetting because as LBS we find it difficult to accept that the person that once loved us is prepared to be deceiptful for their own personal gain, that they are prepared to take from their own children. Basically this is what they are doing but some way, some how they have allowed themselves this entitlement.
I have felt similar pain, you have heard people say that it gets easier, believe me it does, that grief becomes less, the time it takes to get over it becomes less. I'm at the stage now that I do still over react when I recieve news, I blurt it out, but then deal with it, reply to my L more or less straight away and treat it merely like I would a complaint at work, recieve it, sort it, shelve it.
It's the bits I can't resolve that hurt, but I have come to a point where I accept that I cant fix the matters, initially the thought of that hurt, but again less and less.
I do love H very much, I now believe I will never stop loving him, but the fact is I don't like him, and I do not want to be married to a man that I don't like.
I have family that I love but don't like, I am polite to them but thats it, because let them any closer and they take advantage, I set my boundaries for self protection.
It is sad but I have had to do this with H, I have been a friend, I will always keep the door ajar, he will always be welcome in my life, but it will be my decision as to how big a part he plays if he ever takes the step to return. This is not the controling part of me speaking, this is the self preserving part of me protecting me and my family speaking.
Basically we reach a point in the greiving process where we accept, I am at that point, you have always travelled slightly behind me so I guess you will be at a better point soon.
Enjoy your day, choose to make it a fun day. It's your H that is missing out and he made that choice, remember we have a choice in all of this.
