It's up to THEM to decide. If YOU've decided it's over for THEM...don't give them advice.
So, in your opinion, we're to "only" give advice if we're encouraging them to stay in the M? We're not to encourage them to get a backbone and say "You and your kids deserve better, get out?" We're not to let them see that there is life after D and that it can be wonderful?
Seriously, sgctxok, this has been a huge problem for many here. We see people here hanging on for years waiting for the spouse to "snap out of it." If I had stayed in my M, I would've missed out on what has become the happiest time in my life. I put up with X cheating for 18 of the 23 yrs we were together. I DB'd my butt off to no avail. We went to a C. Like Barb said, both people have to want the M to work. My X would've been delighted to continue on with the M as usual. I wanted and deserved more. I wanted to love and respect myself again. Took a long time to get to that point.
Again......if we aren't encouraging them to stay in the M, do not post to them?
