You are doing fantastic and you are being the rock that you need to be (for both of you).
Hang in there and leave the door open, your wife appears to be very confused and messed up (aren't they all?!?) maybe the misscarriages last year didn't help.
If you can get over this as a couple then you will have the foundations to build a much better marriage. I hope you do overcome the issues, I really do.
Hang in there and give yourself a pat on the back for how you are doing and for looking at yourself and improving yourself.
(salute)
Me: 30 W: 31 T: 9.5 yrs M: 4 Yrs No Kids, 1 cat Had a bad year Turmoil started 22/Jan/08 Seperated, same house 30/Jan/08 Wanted D: 2/Feb/08 Going downhill and towards D with nothing stopping her!