I think she is so angry right now b/c she is supressing her guilt and shame. It really feels like a lot of projection to me. I'm doing my best to stay calm and view her as someone who is broken and needs repair. However, with her attitude like this, I don't see how I can ever get her to be nice to me, let alone think of loving me again.
I too think this is odd, Bizarre. She's the one w/ the OM, but yet EVERYTHING is my fault. She will not take accountability for ANYTHING. ZIP. Supposedly this 500 question true/false test we both have to take is excellent at picking up dishonesty and denial, so I'm curious to see how W scores, b/c owning up to things right now is not something she subscribes to.
As for my entire sitch, I think I've put links on all my threads. They are in "Newcomers" under Refuse To Lose, so I think you'll find them w/ a search of Refuse to Lose. If you can't get them, I'll figure out the link and put it in an upcoming post.
Anyway, here is our update from tonight. I drove across the entire valley to get D around 4:20. She showed me around the daycare facility and they do a very imprssive job, so I'm happy w/ the choice W made. It is stronger than the one she has been at, so again, I'm very pleased.
D was hungry and there was a McDonald's right there, so that ended up being her dinner. She ate like a horse - 4 nuggets, a cheeseburger, fries and her milk. Put it all away and she's still so rail thin. I'm jealous.
The interesting conversation came on the way home. Here it is:
I told D that I had her room almost put back together so she could sleep in her big girl bed again. She said she wanted to sleep w/ me b/c she was scared and I talked w/ her about these fears then said "you sleep in your big girl bed at your house w/ Mommy, so you need to do that same thing at your house w/ Daddy."
D replied: I've only done it a few times. I said, "you slept in your own big girl bed last night" and Grace replied, "no, I slept w/ Mommy last night."
Thus, W is berating me for sleeping w/ D when she is still doing it herself. Hypocrite.
D then asked me (unsolicited by me): "Daddy, if I get hot at night, can I take my clothes off?" I said, "Absolutely not. You always sleep w/ clothes on. You can get out of the covers, but you need to keep your clothes on."
D's response: "Mommy takes off my clothes if I'm hot." Me: "Well, that isn't what you do at Daddy's. If you are hot, you can sleep outside of the covers, but you always wear clothes in bed. Mommy and Daddy wear clothes to bed, so you need to as well."
I'm taking this as Good Cop/Bad Cop stuff and not putting much, if any, stock into it. However, W used this same exact conversation w/ D to try and paint me as a deviant. Unbelievable.
I don't see a method to her madness, so maybe that will end up working in my favor. Who really knows? All I know is that I'd pass any lie detector test b/c I tell the truth. What do I gain by being dishonest, even when I'm at fault? Nothing. I'm not sure the same truthfulness can be expected from my W.
Well, tomorrow we have a busy day, so I'll try again to post after D konks out. For now, I'm heading off to bed. I'll talk w/ you all later.
