What would (or did) you say in a last-ditch effort

[cat03]

Until you quit trying to run the show, STBX will NOT reconsider his choices.

I believe my tight grip on what H was doing,running tabs on him, my machinations on ways to make him want to stay speed the way for my H to leave.

Until you admit you can't make him do anything you will suffer, you will try to put upon yourself what God himself can't do: make him love you and come back to you.

In his mind, he's light years away, you are looking for a magical formula, the perfect thing to say to make him reconsider. Well, it didnt' work for me, for about 3mths we'd have so many such talks with my H, but the bottom line was that my H did not have his heart set on fixing our M, so time and time again he'd betray me and tore my heart to shreds.
He is gone now and believes I drag him down and is just not happy in this house with me, no amount of talk, love, time, attention from my part made him change his mind in the past.

Those happy times I had with him, when he was my loving h and a healthy individual, I will cherish and save in the back of my mind, we enjoyed our youth together and nothing will take that away.

We had an "ideal" way my life, your life was supposed to turned out, it doesnt' have to be that or nothing. Think of all the other women out there who loose their Hs to death, what are they supposed to say now, that they will be unhappy forever after? no! life continues. each time we wake up we must choose fight our fear and claim the day for us, for our kids.

I know it is terrifying to dream up a new future without your H in it, I can' really do it yet... but at least I can picture the next few months and know that i will be ok and that I will try all I can to make my 2kids happy, we can only take it one day at a time at this point.

My prayers your way)))))))))))) give yourself permission to grieve but dont' despair, you have so many chances to be happy without him.