I know exactly what you mean. H has been my best friend for so long! When something happens I instinctively want to call him. The problem is that right now what is happening is that I can't call him. When I have tried talking to him about R (before finding this site) he is VERY resistant to anything I say. He is the type of person that once his mind is made up nothing can be said to change it. He has to change it on his own. I know that now, and I think I am really going to go dark. I listed my goals today (after reading most of DR). They are as follows....
1. Want H to ask how I am doing again. He hasn't since I have responded badly to that. 2. I want him to call me on his own, not because I have forced myself on him. 3. Plan S4's birthday together and try to work together well to do it.
These are short term goals, and I think for the first 2 going dark is the best plan for me.
