So, something happened today that set me back that I didn't expect.
My cousin, who is my age...had her baby.
I was so excited for her! And then...the tears came.
Here's an explanation. My cousin was my best friend growing up. We shared everything, talking about "becoming women", dating, getting married, etc. She was the maid of honor at my wedding. We started to grow apart when we were away at college, but since we are related, we also kept a special place for each other.
So, today I found out she had her baby. It is the first person who is my age (1st friend of mine) who had a baby. I started getting teary eyed when I saw pics of her holding the new born. And then, like a SWITCH, it turned into tears of sadness.
Will that every happen to me? I thought. Will I ever be as happy as she is in those pictures? I thought.
Wow.
Here I was, a woman who previously hadn't really been thinking about babies, who still isn't in a position to have a baby...CRYING thinking about babies.
I called my BF and without me even needing to get into my feelings, she simply said that I wouldn't be alone forever. She made me feel better.
But. Wow. I didn't expect THAT reaction.
Another surprisingly painful incident.
But, as T tells me, I sat there saying, Hello sadness. It is ok. I'll be ok.
