Broken Tree WAW- MLC

[Broken Tree]

Thanks Marcus. i asked W if she wanted to go to a communication seminar with me and she said she would think about it which kinda sounded like a yes.

So, is a PA the end of the deal for you. Done! No turning back.

My W simply told me she wanted to date but I think that was out of the fog or a reation to me telling her that other people were interested in me.

I feel so empty and lost but trying to live minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Staying in the moment and trying not to think to much about the future.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[Broken Tree]

Essie,

I think I am falling in love with you. No really, thanks for your thoughts, you are really nice. I don't hink it is a matter of what she wants, I think she is pretty convinced she wants out although signs of confusion are all around. i asked her last night if she would go away with me to take a effective communication course with me, she said she would think about it, which kinda sounded like yes.

I may take the kids into NYC the Natrual Museum of Art.

I did go out and spend $1200 on cloths and shoes. She acted like she didn't notice but when we went out together to a few places people were saying "wow Tree you look great!" The cloths are really nice and fit my new body great. It was the first time in 20 years I went out and bought cloths for myself. Usually she brings the cheapest stuff she can find home for me that may or may not fit.

Thanks for your thoughts. It should be an interesting weekend.I'll let you know how I am doing.

[Bruce1]

Tree:

Good for you for buying the clothes and shoes, and for all the other things you are doing. Keep it up. This takes time, but you will feel better about the new you. You will also likely cycle back into earlier feelings of being lost, depressed, unlovable, etc. but roll with those too. It does get better in the long run, but it's surely a bumpy ride. Have a great weekend.

[Purr]

Hi Tree,

Just checking in with you. I'm impressed with some of the good things you've been doing for yourself in different aspects of your life--physical, emotional, spiritual. That prayer that you shared brought tears to my eyes.

I find that working out and doing things for myself sometimes works and sometimes feels like crap. It never takes the pain away of what is going on, but what else can we do? Keep going, my friend.

Purr

[Broken Tree]

It's really hard. I am down right now because we just spent a nice day in NYC with W and two of our sons. We had a great time but she just came in and announced she was going out for night. I hate that. I will be sitting up all night waiting for her to come home. I don't know how much longer I am going to be able to take her running out the dorr every other night. I really don't like it but I will not say a word or ask where she is going nor whom she is with.

Treeman

[Broken Tree]

Anybody ever heard of Retrouvaille?

[saffie]

There's loads of people on here with good knowledge of it. sara is excellent as an advocate for it. There are also complete threads dedicated to it. What do you weant to know?

[Broken Tree]

I just started investigating it. It sounds like a emergency room for marriage. Kinda like a last resort. Do you know anyone who has had success?

[saffie]

sara,limbo, hopeforfuture....and many others.

Even if it doesn't save the M it generally leads to a much better way of communicating that allows future contact to be much more pleasant. They have a high success rate as they teach couples to communicate in a non threatening way.

From what I understand, no-one is put 'on the spot' and couples problems remain private and between them - they are taught communication skills and reminded why they fell in love with each other. I haven't seen one person post on these boards that they wished they hadn't gone to Retro. Even if they didn't save their M they came away from it with something learned that helped in the future.

[sgctxok]

Lots of folks have success with Retrouvaille. The only downside I've seen is that if the weekend doesn't come out that well...one or the other partner can really feel like that was their last real shot, and their mind gets a little more 'set' that it's over.