Jack,

I sincerely hope you find a way to channel your feelings in a way that will benefit those who are here still seeking help and the benefit of someone who has walked these awful roads before them.

Continuing down this cheese less tunnel really doesn't seem to be working out very well.

~ swl

Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}