You know, the more I think about that lately, the more I believe that to be true. Even though she initially blamed a lot of this on me, she hasn't been bringing it up lately. I think it is all about her.
Interesting email from her a couple of hours ago...
Backstory: She had a really bad cold/flu/bronchitis from mid December to almost now. She was very frustrated to not be able to go to the gym, hiking, rowing etc. I suggested that her health may have caused her journey to only start now, instead of 3 months ago.
My journey needed to stall so that I could build back my inner strength and get a handle on my emotional state in order to move forward. It took a lot out of me to leave you and our life together. I broke masks, patterns, perceptions, others' expectations of me. There was a lot to work through internally & emotionally. It was where my focus needed to be. Life slowed me down. My health is back so I am now able to resume my external and physical journey. I'm not starting it, I'm resuming it with a better understanding of where I have been and where I am going.
This is why I don't want to reconcile at this time. I need to for once in my life be patient about something and let it unfold naturally. My pattern is to force things in the direction I want them to go in and for once in my life I will let things happen naturally. When it's right it will be spectacularly obvious.
