i had to see him for the first time last night since he moved out. and in order to avoid any relationship talk all i could do was say nothing. which, of course, he viewed as depression/me hating him/me being pathetic/etc... then just when i thought he was leaving and i could wallow and cry by myself he decided to stay at home for the night. and he even slept in the same bed with me. so that meant i had to keep myself together until today when i totally lost it at work!
what is the point of him moving out to figure himself out if he goes back and forth? plus he just bought a $1000 mattress for his apt which makes me think he has already made his decision and just isn't telling me yet.
he said he's going to stay at his apt for the next 2 nights to figure everything out and that we should talk on sunday to discuss everything. given his attitude, stubborness, and complete lack of emotion lately i can't imagine that sunday is going to bring me good news. and how can he make such a major life decision in two days??!!
i can't get the knot out of my stomach thinking about sunday. if he has already made a decision i wish he would just tell me already. i can't eat or think straight. i'm having major anxiety and none of the therapists i've called are taking new patients or have even called me back. i even had one hang up on me!!
have any anti-anxiety advice??
Me: 31 H: 29 T: 10 yrs M: 4 1/2 yrs 01/08: MLC 03/17/08: H moved out no kids 3 dogs
