Know what you are doing well. You are seeking local professional resources. And I will also tip my hat to your wife for seeking IC even though it seems as if she is resistant. And speaking with your lawyer is also important. The thing you have is teenage boys who can verbalize what has been going on if need be. Anyone who is merely a poster here can give you some insight into their situation, but really isn't qualified. Heck, we can't see into your house. I am sure you can imagine what the first thougt of someone not close to you may think. I bit my tongue.
Moving forward, you do think you had a lot on your plate and many ideas to try. The best thing I can say from my pespective (which is mainly based on personal experience) is not to try to do too much at one. You are in the 12-step program and as you know it is one step (day) at a time. Do you have a sponsor?
Also, are your sons involved with the counseling? It can't hurt them.
You said:
Quote:
I have been burned too often in the past 18 years by people giving advise when they don't have the experience to back it up.
I can understand that. When I went to counseling (and my difficulties seem pale next to yours), my main source for ideas were my Cs. When I had ideas from the board, I did run it by the Cs. I found the people here were more of a reminder of DB principles such as no R talk, do a 180, change destructive patterns, make yourself happy for a change, etc.
