I've left this alone an2m because some would accuse me of being biased since I am already divorced.

I remember last January when steelerfans husband came home. Things were not right. He would call and talk to OW on his cell phone IN the house. I told her that was wrong and that she needed to insist that he stop or leave. Some at the time felt my suggestion was too firm, but he did in fact leave again. He was not ready.

I was very happy for you when your husband turned the corner and expressed a desire to come home. But, honestly, aside from verbally expressing to you that he loves you and wants to be at home, what OTHER progress has he made?

Yes, they have trouble giving up the other person. My feeling is that if their "trouble" with that involves still being with them, they need to go.

When my ex was not yet my ex, I established a boundary with her. As long as she was actively involved with one of her OM, there would be NO contact between us. It helped me stay sane. You WELL know the feelings that course through your veins when you even suspect contact with the other person. It is NO way to live. Everyone that reads your post can feel the anquish in your words each day.

This visiting with Warren from 4:30 till after 7:00 each day, which conveniently takes place in the same complex as his other woman, should be your final straw. THIS is the line in the sand that I believe you are right to draw.

He continued his affair after moving home.
He doesn't want to do things with you out of the house.
He refuses any intimacy.

At the very least, I would ask him outright if he has been visiting with the other woman during his after work visits. And I would let him know that, because of trust issues, you will feel the need to verify his answer with Warren.

Too much hurt on you already.

And yes, if he needs to leave again, it will hurt again.

But what kind of life are you living right now?


Sometimes they just are not done. I'm not sure that is the case with your husband, but it's time for him to offer more than just words.


Just my opinion.

Blessings,

Bill

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."