Thanks for this. I read the preface and it was really good. This is a very painful process but at least the books can serve as some guidance along the way. Thank you for recommending it.
Yesterday, my W. sent a one line email. She was saying that she saw an ad for something related to work and acknowledging my name was in it as a key person. It was like "hey, look who's name is in this that just came across my desk!!"
I don't get it. What am I supposed to do with that? I don't even want to respond, but I don't want to give the message that I'm unresponsive. I feel mad today, looking over the situation of the last several months and feeling that in one sense it is ridiculous for someone to not share concerns until it is "too late". What do I do when we have a MC session where she says "I think there's just nothing left to hold on to and I left the relationship emotionally long ago"...and then then next day this one liner?
I feel angry about what seems to be a real disparity in our levels of commitment to the relationship. I agree that there are some areas that weren't strong, but it seems ridiculous to think that there could be a perfect relationship. She is not able to articulate what she does want, just that she feels "trapped". I feel like crap about that--especially since I have been so supportive of her emotionally and career wise in so many ways.
Should I reply to this message? I'm feeling triggered and still in a messed up space (my back is getting all tensed up in knots) so I want to get some perspective on this first. My guess at this point would be to respond but just with a polite one line back or something. Don't know what I'd say.
I'm trying to clean the house today to keep occupied. I feel really angry and bitter right now--I'm so tired of not having a partner who--even in the slightest--wants to work on the relationship. How do you throw away something that is gold (even though imperfect)???? How can something--from HER perspective--be so wonderful and intolerable simultaneously?!!!!
Off to scrub toilets...perhaps a relevant metaphor for what my life presently feels like. Am I crazy?
