Last night didn't go all that well. We went to "her"place (I hate saying that), had a couple glasses of wine, then ordered in some Thai food. had a nice dinner and, as always, she started up the R talk.
She said "I feel I am just getting started on this journey...I think it's going to take a while yet. If you are waiting for me to come home in the next little while, it's not going to happen".
I said "I told you that I am not waiting for you to come home...the door is open, sure, but I may move on as well. It's not what I want, but it may end up that way".
She went on to tell me a few more interesting things, some are repeats: - She thinks I am a 'catch' - She thinks I will hook up with someone soon because I am tired of her drama - If I do, she totally understands - She initially thought she would be happy for me if I move on, but now says she would be devastated - She feels 'panic' at the thought of losing me - She thinks that I started my journey of change and self-discovery the day she left me; she feels she is just starting hers now, and feels like she is 'catching up' - She is utterly convinced that she needs to do this alone, not with me (I do understand that, somewhat) - I asked her if she feels that I am applying any pressure at all to her, she said no (this is good)
I told her I have no plans to date at this time, other than her. My hope is that we can get back together, so for now I'm just working on myself and my own life.
She asked if I was staying overnight, I said "yup". We just slept, no sex or fooling around.
At 8am I downed my coffee, gave her a hug and kiss and said see ya later. I didn't feel like hanging around.
