Do you let her know how ashamed and disgusted you are with your actions?
The reason I ask is that I think you guys say it once and think we know. I also asked, because when I read that in your post it made me soften. It helps me when I am able to see my H's past behavior as a horrible mistake that he is ashamed of. I'm not your wife though....
I'll read your sitch when I get a chance, but I think you are absolutely right to believe she's angry.
My H and I were cuddling this morning before facing the day. I fell back asleep and woke up to see him shaving. I used to love to watch him shave. Do you know what the first thought to enter my mind was? "Why is he shaving before he goes to work instead of before he comes home to me?"
Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Welcome to my world.
Of course he has no idea that thought popped into my head. I'm ashamed to even admit it on a message board. But that's kind of my point. I trusted him with my heart for 18 years and he's shaken every belief I ever had. I even question whether it was trust or arrogance...
I know he's not having an affair. I'm positive. As soon as the thought popped into my head it was dismissed and gone. But it's THERE. It's there less than it used to be... but it's there.
Every Day.
We let go, SDog, we forgive. We even believe you are doing your best. There is still a crushed little girl inside, though, that wasn't enough and doesn't understand how the guy could break her heart and do something that can't be undone. Let her heal. Don't give up on her and let her heal.
