Newly Separated....Edge

[Starshyne]

Edge, my heart goes out to you because I see a lot of my own behaviors in what you are saying. I know totally what you mean. You have been in so much pain and you want your H to feel some of that to just get a clue as to how badly you hurt. You are right...you need to stop asking those questions. They are not going ot help your situation with your husband and he can't answer them.

When you see him today, you need to not mention your marriage at all. It is almost impossible, believe me I know. That is the one thing that you are thinking about day in and day out. You wake up in the morning with it on your mind and go to bed crying (alright at least I do) because of it. But you can't talk to your husband about it unless he brings it up. You need to act like you are somewhat happy and act casual. Ask him basic and generic questions. Talk about the weather...talk about something you saw on the news. Then let him be to work on what he needs to work on.

I know it is hard. And I fail at it every day. But keep strong and show him by your actions that you still love him. You can't tell him anymore, but he needs to see that in you.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Sara