Help me act AS IF, Thread 4

[newnamenewlife]

Today is Hs bday. Ds are off for Good Friday and H is unemployed, so we had a little bday bkfst for him. He came downstairs and I gave him a big hug and kiss and wished him happy bday. My Ds know I love him and I'm sure no matter what they are told about the S, they'll remember who was loving and affectionate and who was not during the last few months.

So today we are all going for a hike and then to H's parents house for dinner. I sort of think I should stay home since in the future I will not be joining(not for a long time anyway). I am getting SICK of feeling ignored/negated/unappreciated by H. I also hate that my Ds see his lack of enthusiasm for me.

I am realizing more and more how GAL stuff benefits me. When I am with my friends, I feel loved and appreciated for who I am. Also with my kids. Pretty much any human being besides H makes me feel like I actually exist and have something to offer.

I'm planning a baby shower for a friend in a few weeks, so that's fun, and scheduling more and more things with friends and forgetting about H. The only thing I worry about is Ds noticing that H&I never go out alone anymore (he refuses to engage in anything that is couple-like.)

Thanks for your continued support!