The thing with Lyme is that my once marvelous brain is not what it used to be. My plan is to get certified here (we moved here from Germany 10 years ago, where I managed a large eye surgery clinic)so that I can get a part time position in that field. To pursue dreams like nursing school or to study interior design is just not realistic I think. I can see why my illness has burned him out too. It`s costly, there is a lot of traveling. And since he is a control freak, who insisted on doing all our paper work at home, he was even more involved. I read a number of books on infidelity and I know why he is demonizing me. Since his affair is only 6 weeks old I somehow still hope that he will see the light. We had an affectionate marriage. We hardly ever fought, never to a point where we would not speak afterwards. Right before the affair started we were sitting on our sofa holding hands while watching a movie. He always picked up my hand when we were walking somewhere. It`s all so bizarre. She is older, he rather likes younger women. She has a cat, to say he does not like cats is an understatement. We have a large dog. She uses scented candles or some nasty air freshener (I can smell if he was at her place), he used to hate that stuff. I once threw away orange oil scented tea candles because he did not like it. So far he has not mentioned the D word, but I have. Just the bit about 2 seperate households. What he wants right now is his freedom. I will work on my 180.
