Keep us posted on how you work through Anderson's stuff. It has really helped me understand myself and the process of grieving and ultimately healing from loss. She doesn't sugarcoat things, but she offers some good practical suggestions for how to acknowledge the pain and work through it. This is a long road. There doesn't seem to be much out there specifically targeted at how to cope with abandonment. It's useful to learn about our childhoods, and how to be a better spouse, but we also need to cope with the immediate pain of loss. I wish you well with this. You will grow into a better person, no matter what happens with your M. The loss of love is severe, but it strikes me as even worse to suffer that loss and not come through it without greater self-awareness and insight into what it means to be a loving person.
