Affair is over and WW is responding

[Hope4us]

Thanks Puppy. I appreciate the advise. I'm still not sure if what you suggest is the right thing in this situation.

If I grab her and hug her and tell her I'm sorry she's in pain, one of two things could happen. She could feel anger towards me as one of her issues with me is "you're always right". If I acknowledge she's in pain she'll know I know she's in withdrawal from OM it could be me reinforcing the "I'm always right" notion she has of me. The other is she could act like she doesn't know what I'm talking about her being in pain, but internally like that I did it.

Even though I'm not an engineer, that's the kind of mind I have. I always think things through to their logical conclusion before talking about or making decisions on anything. WW is more of an emotional thinking type person. She "feels" her way through things. This is something we'll really have to work on to make our marriage work. I look at our marriage and know that love is a "choice" and WW looks at our marriage and thinks she's not in love with me because "she's 'never' felt for me what she felt for OM". You know those brain chemicals that hit when a relationship is new. She thinks that's what love is and without it you're not in love. She can't remember ever feeling that for me. Heck yes, we've been married for 23 years. If that's the high she's looking for in a relationship, she's never going to be happy as that high will wear off after the honeymoon with each and everyone of any future OM she gets involved with, if we don't make it.

My hope is that once she puts some more distance between herself and the end of the affair that she'll begin to see it for what it was and realize that she's got REAL LOVE staring her right in the face. We'll see what happens.