Affair is over and WW is responding

[Hope4us]

Well, got home last night and WW was still in a kind of pissy mood. Tried talking to her a couple of times and she was pretty short with me, so I went to the basement and watched NCAA's all night. Came upstairs and told the kids goodnight and went to bed without talking to WW.

But while I was in the basement I had a thought that makes so much sense to me about why WW would be in a bad mood the last day and a half. Tell me what you think.

Wed morning, WW was still responding to me, sent me a couple of emails at work that she didn't have to send. I talked to her before she left to go pick up DS19 from school and she was fine with me. Not lovey dovey or anything, but is was a fairly normal conversation. She goes to pick up DS19 and when she gets home, something has changed. She's quiet, won't talk to me other than one word answers, won't look at me when I ask her anything. Thurs more of the same. I sent her the email about the flood and got a very short response, that's it.

So here's my theory. The route we take to pick DS19 up from school is the same route for about 3/4 of the trip that WW would have taken to go see OM once he moved the 250-300 miles away back in August. She would have taken that route the 4 or 5 times she went to spend the weekend with the POS after he moved. I'm guessing that trip to pick up DS19 was a huge trigger for her and she's dealing with that right now.

Big ah ha moment for me. While I've known all along that she's going to have to deal with her own demons going through withdrawal, I always take it personally when she's been down the last 6-7 weeks. Really, through our whole marriage I've been that way. I'm a fixer and I always felt like it had to be something I'd done or if not that, something I could fix. And if there's one thing I've learned through this whole mess, it's I can't make her happy. I just have to be happy and live my life the best I can, and if she wants to tag along, great, if not, it's her loss. I just need to keep up with what I'm doing and let her get through this at her own pace.

Which brings me to a question. What do I do for the next few days while she works her way through this? Do I continue to try and engage her in conversations? I've kind of dropped the LRT method since she's said she's not going anywhere for "at least" the next 2 years and has been responding to me. Kind of felt like it was time to start re-engaging with her. I'm still GAL and all, but do I go back to a LRT type attitude until she starts responding again, or do I continue engaging her to help her see I'm here for her? I almost feel like she needs to hit rock bottom (if she hasn't already) before she will begin to see more clearly than she is, but I also don't want her to think I'm not there for her when she needs me.

I would love to grab her, hold her, tell her I know what she's going through is tough and I'll support her til the cow's come home while she works through this but I just don't think she's ready for that yet.

Thanks in advance for any advise you might have.