Hello Mr. MLC part deux!!

[mymonkeybug]

Hell FG I don't follow rules...remember you gave me some before I left and I tried to follow them and did up until today.

I will be home tomorrow night so my vacation is shot. I need a vacation from my vacation...lol.

I really want to hear your ideas on what you think he is trying to say now. It can wait though until tomorrow as I am now going to head off to bed and you should too.

[Forrest Gump]

What you did is OK.

[mymonkeybug]

You are right. I now see that H is my goal and maybe he will see me as his again someday within the next 12 months.

[Forrest Gump]

Get some sleep Heather.

Just come back and post.

I know you feel left out.

I have been there and done that.

You got to trust in someone.

All I am asking for is a chance.

I may fail.

I will try not to.

You I will not fail.

[smith18]

Heather -

I wonder of the thoughts and emotions that will be going through your H's mind over the next week. Today he was curious. What will he be like tomorrow. Revengeful. Angry. Sad. Probably a bit of all.

The first thing you need to do is cancel any more horizontal dance sessions with your buddy.

I think you have now opened pandora's box. Your H will probably think that since you got some extramarital enjoyment, that he now is entitled to some lessons for himself.

Who knows, maybe this is the formula that was needed to rekindle your R. I still dont think it is right.

[Donamite]

Sgirl -

Your email address has been removed. Private contact information, including email addresses is not allowed on this site.

[Kalni]

Hi Heather,

We've met before, I don't write as much on your thread but I always read your posts.

I just wanted to tell you that there are more on these boards that would like to have done or do what you did/doing... Some even go ahead and do it.They just keep it to themselves. Which doesn't do it more wrong or right. I am afraid of the "void" I feel afterwards. It takes your thoughts away from him for a while but not your heart. It gets your hormones going but it just doesn't feel satisfying as much, maximum "second best" feeling.

Take a break, see what you can do to minimize the cost of telling your H, turn it around to your benefit if possible. Regroup, you are obviously distracted and you lost your focus for a while.
Follow FG's thinking..., give it a try, not very many people jump up to the responsibility to guide you through troubled times. He takes the risk...

Take care
Kalni

[mymonkeybug]

Kerry-

You are very right. H may have been curious yesterday but could totally turn angry or sad today and could also prove my trust in him wrong by using it to file for immediate and full divorce on grounds of adultery. If he does then I have to accept that I caused that to happen.

I do realize that he may go right on ahead and enjoy some of those dance lessons himself now and I can't do a thing about it. I can only pray that he feels as I did...that while a pleasurable experience physically, it was a horrid experience emotionally. Or he may be the complete opposite of me and feel euphoria with it and want that HIGH all the time.

I will wait out this storm now and see how my ship comes through the other side.

I read my full annual horoscope the other day and it said in the spring I will connect with a person and in the summer I will IN LOVE AGAIN so I can hope it is H?!?!?!?!

[mymonkeybug]

You are correct...my heart will always be with my H. No one will ever have my heart. He owns it.

I am going to try to sit back and get real still and quiet the next few days and watch and see how things play out between H and myself. I go home today and will be anxiously awaiting the arrival of those dreaded PAPERS he filed earlier in the week. A girlfriend keeps telling me they are just PAPER...paper can be burned and doesn't really mean much. That there can be major turn arounds in the 12 months of legal seperation.

I will continue to hope and pray for the best even with my screw ups.

[sgctxok]

Forrest...that is categorically untrue and inappropriate.