Back on the Roller Coaster - OW still around

[fooled again]

Mike,

I don't know, I think you did very well. I think alot of us have a pretty strict idea of what DBing is, but I also think that most of us don't truly get it. It's more about NOT doing the same things that didn't work in the past, it's about trying something new, it's about seeing things differently, it's about taking care of ourselves and nurturing our own growth so that we don't expect our SO to "complete" us (as if we are not enough on our own) but instead "compliment" us, to add to our lives not "be" the center of our lives.

It sounded to me like you were able to talk w/ your W and it sounded like she was listening. Who knows what will come from tonight.

And good for you for resisting the temptation of your old friend coming on to you, both for her sake and for your own. It's not a decision many people in your shoes would have had an easy time making. If you feel good about your choice, then it was the right choice. If and when your D becomes final and your W decides that she will never come back, there will be time for other women, and by the stats, there are alot of them out there!

So I guess temptation is out there all around us LBS's, and we have to decide what to do with it. I am someone who thrives on attention, validation, compliments (I can't remember which love language it is), but when an attractive, charming, funny man finds me attractive and has the guts to let me know, I find that difficult to resist. And so I find myself thinking about someone who had done just that. No, it's not love, not even close, but oh how wonderful it was for someone to tell me that I'm beautiful, right in the middle of me saying something to them (not having any idea there is anything wrong w/ my M - I think). Then my H comes back from a trip and spends the night leaving the next day and there was no ML!!! Though there was cuddling, this was a first in a very long time. What do I make of it? I'm trying not to think too much about either.

Keep doing what you're doing w/ your W - it seems to be working. But not too eager, not too pushy. You are doing great. And remember, just as M is just paper w/out the love, friendship and commitment, so is D just another piece of paper. There are many, many love stories out there that DON'T necessarily end with a D. Sounds crazy to me, but I'm not the expert here.

FA