Yep look at the trampy MILF I have become...whatever. I slipped and am weak so shoot me. We all have skeletons in our closet and this is my first and hopefully last/only. Seperation and/or divorce didn't come with an instruction manual. And neither did how to survive alone without your husband after 19 years deciding to walk out 3 days before Xmas.
I won't be back here on the boards with another broken marriage of that is what you are referring to FG. And I will not tell the judge that Forrest made me do it. I will take full responsibility for it. I am woman enough to lay claim to my wrongs and have never tried to pawn them off on others not even my marital issues. H and I both made mistakes for which I have owned up to my share.
I wear my emotions on my sleeve and most of the time my entire life for all the world to see as well. Maybe sharing this with the board was a mistake but that is part of who I am.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
you did what you had to do to stay whole and together for your kids. Don't beat yourself up, if the physical part of your marriage was not important to you, you would not have tried to replace it. FG, sorry but I think there is a gender issue here. To listen to your kids cry for their father is probably one of the most painful things in motherhood. Finding solace with another adult is understandable. Some things are just not bearable alone. Men deal with loss if a wife leaves, but when a Husband leaves a wife with young kids, she not only deals with her unhappiness, it is magnified 10 fold when your children suffer
Thank you for that show of support. It is very true about the kids suffering. Now that I have actually begun to seem happy to the point where people are taking notice...so are the kids, especially S8 and they seem to be doing a little better.
The kids will never know about the OM and he will never meet them. This is my adult business and not part of their life. OM is just a temporary fix and one day I will move on with my H or someone else but for right now this OM is a friend with the added luxury of benefits.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
How are you doing? I have read what you have been saying, but what I want to know is, what is your next step? I mean for you, not the M or for H, but for you. Are you really okay with this turn of events?
-Bryan
Me-45 W-34 T-5 M-3 1/2 s-10 s-12 ILYBNILWY 12/26/07 Sleeping away from home at friend's house(because she says she can't get any sleep otherwise) 1/14/08 1/25/08 We tell kids she is moving out
I have always been the planner and prepared for the future and what happens if type of things. Right now for ME, not my H or my M, for ME I plan to continue to work and live each day as the day arrises. I will accept any and all consequences of me actions and realize I could/probably will get burned soon by someone or something.
Heck at this moment I can't even say with any certainty what happens for me next.
Confused mind? Yeah you bet.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
I don't care if you slipped. You think I did not know you did.
You were wrong.
You are nothing less than what I expected.
I want you to surprise me.
Talk about expectations.
I expected you to be who I knew you were.
You showed it here.
Hide behind the weapons you thought you could.
I saw it coming.
The emotion. You write about it. I can see it.
Girl you are reaching out. You have NFC.
I laid it out. Do this.. Do that..
What did you do?
You really think I did not see this part. I did not see it when you ignored it. Or when you tried to reason it away.
You want to surprise me.. Do something different. Show me you want to stay with the guy with the big box.
I told you my box was bigger. I have tools you wished the "Snap On" guy would finance for you. You could use my credit to get some new tools just because I said so.
I don't care you F'd some generic tool vendor. At the end of the day you have to show me you like my tools better.
Someone once told me "You become what you judge".
What have you become?
I have a habit of answering my own questions.
My answer.. Exactly what you are holding him accountable for.
For the slow people.. Exactly what you NEVER wanted him to be.
Here ya go..
A woman marries a man.. Expecting him to change. He does not.
A man marries a woman never expecting her to change. She does.
What have you become because of what he made you do?
You.. Are better than that.
What ya got now.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
