Saw H tonight, he came over to watch LOST. At first, when we were having dinner, I thought, "I'm cool with this! I actually don't want him as a lover, we are just good friends!" But, mid-way through LOST, as we sat next to each other on the couch, I just wished that I could sit there and hug him and hold him.
The thing about me is that Im a very affectionate girl. I am very touchy-feeley. And w/ H being here, I just want to hug and kiss him bc that is the way I am and the way WE were. And it is hard not being that way.
Anyway, we just had dinner, joked around, no flirting really, but had fun. He talked the whole time about how much work he has and how he is working constantly (he left here to go back to work at his parents--he is a consultant)
I told him that we needed to go out and do something fun. He agreed.
I don't know what to think anymore. I do love him. I do. I do. I do. But I wonder, why when I have other guys who flirt with me and who would probably be better for me. I wonder if sometimes I need to let go of H b/c he isn't interested in me anymore?
H & I, both 32, together since 18. *M 7/03, A since 9/06. Bomb 7/07, H ended it w/ OW 9/08 * Agreed to D 6/09...very hard *D 8/10 * At peace, have become great friends w/ X-H and his new GF
