I really empathize with the confusion and sense of loss / unfairness about it all. Lodo has some wise words; I was applying them to my sitch. Yeah, restful sleep isn't usually part of what gets served up around here. I feel pretty exhausted most of the time because it's physically and emotionally draining. Good for you to be taking care of yourself. I'm not sure if this helps you or not, but I find that I can get myself worked up into a real knot when I start thinking too far ahead. Sometimes, that means even thinking about tomorrow is too far, depending on how I'm doing.
You are doing okay even though you are going through hell. Hang in there, my friend.
