I must tell you both that I am not dating but have fallen prey to the right man came along at the right time and said the right things and I fell into a full on sexual affair. I am outing it now to you both and anyone else reading.
Oh and don't smack me yet...here comes another...are you ready?
I told H about it this morning. Oh yeah I sure did. OK let me now recap the day's events.
H texted me this a.m. asking me to call him when I had the chance so I did as I was putting on my make up and we had a very good talk. For the first time since he left we spoke like we were friends again. Maybe this paperwork is all it took?!?! Anyway, I fessed up to the f*** buddy friendship I have developed with a much younger man and H seemed very OK with it. He admitted that he had met a couple females but hasn't done anything. I explained to him that I was trusting him not to use this against me and ruin me with it and he promised he wouldn't just as I did to him when he starts to date or have sex with someone else.
So he proceeds to text me literally almost all day long today which as you know is not typical of him since he left. He has been very quiet and treated me plague like remember. He wanted full graphic details which I gave and professed that if he finds out this man hurts me he will kill him. He also made me promise that I was using protection and being careful which I am. He also asked questions like how it was, what I feel emotionally when in the act, etc... You see he and I are all each other knows sexually since we have been together since 16. We have always had open talks about fantasies and he has questioned in the past how do we really know we are as GOOD as we say we are when we have no one to compare to. I think he is shocked that I am but also very curious about what it is like being with someone else.
OK so anyway, details...he is a friend and we have the benefit of fulfilling each others sexual needs...period end of story...I am not IN LOVE nor am I looking for long term or committment. He knows that and I know that. We are adults having fun right now and sure I am vulnerable but I make HIM remind me all the time what we are doing and that WE are NOT an item, just friends with benefits.
OK Kerry and FG I know I will get the riot act from you both and am fully prepared so lay it on me. I am a vulnerable woman doing something I am not ready for right now and made a HUGE mistake telling H right? I set myself up to be run over by the legal divorce train?
I will be honest with you all however...the texting and 2, count them 2, phone calls with H today felt so amazing and so true and real. I honestly believe today was a MAJOR turning point for us. He even told me how deeply he cares for me still and how he doesn't want to see me get hurt by this trist and how he can't wait to start hugging me again when he comes to see the kids and how nice it will be. He also said that WE will be OK, to which I am sure he is referring to our seperation and coming through it fine in the end.
OK everyone's opinions, even the non supportive ones are appreciated.
Both 35 T 19/M 15 years S8/D5 It's over bomb/ILYBNILWY 12-22-07
