I had horrible dreams... In one we were sleeping in her apartment for some reason and the sinks were rusty and the faucet blew up on me and water went all over the kitchen. I was trying to wipe up the sludge and water when she and her XH came home and found me in the kitchen....... H was still in the bedroom... there were so many. Therapists would have a field day with me.
I have googled her. I ripped up a letter I found and then one day taped it back together to read again. All 33 pieces of it. I have a pic of her on my phone. I've spent hours looking at pics online of festivals in the city, just looking for her in crowds of millions. UGH. I've given her sooooo much more power than she EVER deserved or even had over him. Seriously.
It's been a few months though. We've been piecing for a year now and I'm actually one of the really, really happy ones. I swear. Scary huh. :-)
Your signature line, ROOT, is brilliant. I don't know you, but from how you write, I don't think you are deluding yourself. I think you are too aware to do that. The ones that are deluding themselves are the comfortable ones thinking "Not MY husband" when they see a story on the news.... the person I was before I realized that "happily ever after" was only a trick ending crafted by men who knew that no self-respecting princess would ever sign on if they knew the truth.
