Sorry to hear you are in a rough spot and feeling low. It seems like you are going to be in that place for a while. We'd like our pain to pass quickly, but I really do believe that if we open up to it, really face it, and face ourselves, we will be better off in the long run than if we pretended we really weren't hurting. So, good for you for acknowledging that pain to yourself and to us. I really feel you are doing well, despite the hurt you feel.
I don't mean to pry too much, but do you "have" to know her plans for the weekend, or do you "want" to know? If the latter, try detaching even more and just not caring where she goes or with whom. I know, easier said than done, but maybe it's necessary in your case.
